www.ryangwillim.com

I just got back from lunch at Panda Express. I believe this is the first time in my life that I have ever eaten Chinese (or americanized chinese) without chopsticks. The reason, they were out! How does a chinese restaurant run out of chopsticks? Especially when they aren't in high demand down here in Chula Vista? I somehow doubt that the majority of the patrons would use chopsticks, so they should have a big pile for me to pick from!

After a little discussion with Bob about how it's ironic that Panda Express, a Chinese restaurant, wouldn't have chopsticks, we decided to make up a new word. See, we both thought it was ironic, but that it shouldn't be. So what is a word for something that is ironic, but really shouldn't be? We rattled through a few candidates for the new adjective and came down to quasironic. I think it's a fabulous word and I intend to add it to my daily vocabulary.

Quasironic (kwa zy ron ick) also quas.i.ron.i.cal (kwa zy ron ick uhl)
adj
1. An idea or thing that is ironic, but should not be.
2. The state of being partially ironic, but not completely.
3. Vague or undefined irony.

My goal is to say it at least twice a day until it is natural. What'dya think?

.

Yesterday marked my one year anniversary of being toxin free, and it feels good. Wootah.
I don't wanna talk details, but if you see me, feel free to tip your hat or something. Or buy me flowers, I've always wanted someone to buy me flowers, ahah.

.

I got back in San Diego yesterday after a 16 hour drive back. My dad is doing much, much better than the doctors initially expected. He is home now, and is able to sleep in his own bed. God is good! He should continue to improve and recover, it's going to be a long road, but it is already looking a lot better than what it could have been.

Here is a preview of some of the shots I took when I had some free time in Oregon. I think I took a total of 4 rolls of film or something, haven't looked at all of it yet. There will be a bunch of shots up at www.aesthetic-mindset.com over the next few days as well.

Thanks to everyone who was praying for my dad. The improvement from thursday to saturday was amazing.

.

That's right, I woke up at 5am yesterday and I have been awake since then. Long story, or stories, or something, I don't really know at this point. All I know is that I am sitting on the floor of my mom's sewing room hardlinked to her DSL typing this post. Yes, my mom lives in Oregon, so some decent deductive reasoning would lead to the fact that I am currently in Oregon.

I decided to drive to Oregon yesterday morning, or the morning before that, I honestly don't know what day it is. But let's back up a little...

Last friday I got a call from my mom regarding my father. My father has been having some serious back pain for the past few months, or longer, not sure, but it's been bad. He/we just assumed that he had a pinched nerve or something, but when the pain didn't go away he finally got an MRI done, that was last week sometime. The MRI came back with him having a cracked disc (L5 I believe). BAD! Bad enough, actually, that they scheduled emergency surgery for yesterday. I found this out friday. My mom is stressed out pretty badly, and it's wearing her down. There isn't much I can do from San Diego to help, so I felt pretty helpless. Then an opportunity came along, or rather I just decided to drive up, either yesterday or the day before, can't remember. Anyhow, it just made sense because I was being faced with some other personal issues regarding my car that have been giving me anxiety for the past 6 months so extreme that I have almost delved into panic attacks on numerous occasions. So anyhow, I decided to drive my car up here and leave it here. That is a totally different and very involved story which I have no desire to talk about, but that issue is off my chest and I feel good. Ok, back to my father.

So dad went into surgery yesterday morning at 6am, it was supposed to be a fairly routine 3 hour surgery, I called my mom around 2pm, and he still wasn't out of surgery. I decided not to push any questions on my mom as I could already tell she was pretty concerned. So the surgery is over I guess around 3pm, a little longer than three hours as predicted. And all my mom could really do was to tell me that it wasn't good, there were more problems than the doctors thought. No details at that time, but things weren't as bright and shiny as we thought.

A few minutes ago I got a little more information about my dad state of being...bad, as in not good at all. The doctor asking my mom to figure out the best way to get a hospital bed in our house was a big flashy light letting us know to expect nothing, and everything all at once. So I am here, awake for over 32 hours straight, nothing and everything on my mind, not tired, wanting to be tired, and hating that it's always the good people that seem to get crapped on the most. My mom does not deserve this, my dad definitely does not deserve this. It's not fair that I have to go back to SD in two days and leave my mom to deal with this, I should be here, but I can't. That sucks, not happy about that. It's not fair that my brother is stuck on a freaking boat in the Bering sea finding out about this on a telephone. Suck.

On the brighter side, I have my kitty, and I am surrounded by my trees. The 13 hour straight through 1000 mile journey is worth it, even if it's not good, it's necessary, for me, and my family.

Shit, now I think I'm going to cry, damnit.

So I am bored tonight. What I wanted to do was go take some night shots in some alleyways. But I really wanted a subject to make the shot a little more personal, alas, I couldn't think of anyone I could call at 11:00 at night to ask if they wanted to go scour the alleyways of the ghetto for the sake of artistic photography. Instead I decided to turn all the lights off on in my apartment and setup my tri-pod on my balcony. This is a little of what I accomplished...

Hope someone likes these, I know they are oversimplistic, but it's hard to create aesthetic beauty out of a ghetto alleyway, you gotta shut a lot of stuff out! :)

P.S. There is no photo editing on these shots except the cropping! Wootah!

Just got back last night from a two-day tournament in Sylmar, CA. It was over 100 degrees on both days while we were competing (competing for 7 hours a day in that!). I think I got a bit of heat stroke and I have decided that I don't like playing disc golf in weather over 85 degrees. I was in 3rd place going into the final round and ended up in 8th place after my body broke down from the heat. Boo! The last round cost me something like $150 and I ended up winning just $80 with the 8th place tie!

Stats from the tournament will be put up here hopefully in the next few days.

Good things from this weekend were that I did well enough to play on the leader card for 3 rounds with Steve Rico, who is the best disc golfer in California and of the best in the world. Also, San Diego represented very well and won 4 or 5 divisions along with many other good placings.

Next is the Waller Pines Pro Open tournament in a couple weeks. It won't be 100 degrees there since it is north of Santa Barbara near the coast so that is something to look forward to!

foto by Tam. foto editing by me.

While at my office I often eat cereal for breakfast while I'm working at 7:30 or so in the morning. This morning my brain must be really off because I poured the cereal into my water glass and didn't realize I was doing it until a considerable amount was floating in my water. Genius!

I have an internet radio station playing a bunch of indie rock music, which is music to my soul. A song came on that I particularly enjoyed the sound of so I looked over at the screen to see who it was. The Band's name is Hope Factory. Wow, I love that name, in a world of rock music where the more depressing, angry, sad and such you are the better, seeing a band named Hope Factory revived my spirit. All of a sudden I am having a good day?! I think I'm going to buy their CD just because of what they just did for me. Oh and like I said, their sound is quite enjoyable, it sounds a lot like The Catherine Wheel mixed with maybe The Cure. Mmmm, today is a good day.

Everyone has the opportunity to be a missionary. EVERYONE. Religious or atheist. Opportunities arise throughout life that give you the ability to do something beyond yourself. The people that take these opportunities and run with them are my heroes. The best thing about it is that isn't that hard to do. God has given each of us specific talents and interests that occupy our time. Some people are talented athletes, some are artists, some love reading, some writing. Doesn't matter if you think you are the least talented person in the world, you are good at something, very good at something, it just takes a little experimentation sometimes to discover what your talents are. When you have discovered what you love in life, the next step is to share that love with others. When you share your talent, you are also sharing yourself, and that is your mission.

One of my mom's talents is quilting. I don't know how long she has been quilting, but I'm pretty sure that she started as a child with her mother (my gma). So she has been quilting for a very long time and is VERY skilled at it. I don't have any figures or anything to give you as to the merit of her skill, but if she desired, she could very easily be a professional quilter. Ok, enough brown-nosing :). My mother is an amazing quilter. Another thing my mother has a definite heart for is neglected children. She and my father have taken in many neglected/troubled children throughout their lives. The compassion my parents have is amazing. So we have children and quilting in my mom's resume. So back to the story, a few years ago, my mom found out about an organization called Wrap Them In Love. WTIL is an organization of quilters worldwide that make quilts, then give them at no charge to children in need worldwide. If you have any idea how much goes into making a quilt, you know how brilliant the hearts of these people must be that they can give away their quilts without knowing exactly where they are going. It's incredible how self-less these people are.

In the winter of 2004 my mom and I came up with the idea of taking a few bundles of quilts down to Mexico from WTIL. So after some scheduling and planning we went to an orphanage in Ensenada, Mexico in May of 2004. I can honestly say that the experience changed my outlook on life, and I think it messed with my mom pretty good too. It was a beautiful experience, we took probably 40 quilts down to children who own nothing, absolutely nothing. The smiles melted our hearts, the humbling attitudes of 6 year olds with nothing to their names, but joy in their hearts that couldn't be matched my a 100 american kids recieving their hundreds of dollars worth of toys on Christmas. We didn't want to leave, and my mom was wondering how she could sneak a couple of the kids across the border in her purse.

Since that trip my mother and I have talked about doing a similar trip many times and we finally had the opportunity. Only this time something really cool happened. My dad was able to come! My dad doesn't travel very often, so he gets to hear about our stories of various things that my mom does and my random travels and we always wish he was there, but two plane tickets cost roughly twice as much as one, which is quite expensive for a lower middle class family. So this time dad was able to come. I could tell how excited he was when I picked them up from Las Angeles along with my niece, Kaitlyn. Not only did my dad get to see me, which only happens a couple times a year, but he got to join me on one of my adventures. The day came and we went down to a small, dirt-poor community in rural Tijuana, Mexico. We took over 60 quilts with us and the same magic was in the air as was a couple years earlier. Unfortunately, the school that we were visiting was having finals so we weren't able spend too much time with the children. But it didn't matter, we handed over their quilts, and were rewarded with some of the most authentic smiles ever. Kaitlyn made two of the quilts herself and was able to give them to two little children personally, which made her so happy. Just seeing these kids for a few minutes walk out of their two room school, shaking in excitement, and speaking to us in spanish fervently expecting for us to understand, this was worth the price of admission.

I need to thank a few people for making this trip possible. First, Lydia Lozano, who acted as our liason to the Mexican community, setting up the meeting and translating. Thank you Lydia, we love you. Kaitlyn, you rock, you're my hero! My mother, for your vision and willingness to step outside your comfort zone. And finally, my father, thanks for joining us, this was one of the best things I've ever done with you.

Anyone can be a missionary, all that is necessary is the willingness to yield yourself to what is possible.

This is my dad handing over the quilts. I think this is my new favourite photo of him, says a lot more than words.


This shows their houses in the background.




This girl had this smile the whole time. Not sure if she is capable of frowning!


That is Kaitlyn with her back to the camera. The two children in front her are the children that recieved Kaitlyn's quilts.


This is Jessica. The most beautiful little girl I have ever met!

Ok, I'll stop now, I'm sure my mom is crying real bad right now reading this. If you are a reader of Aesthetic-Mindset you can expect to see a few shots from the trip up there over the next week or so.

.