|« Better||Boredom and a camera. »|
That's right, I woke up at 5am yesterday and I have been awake since then. Long story, or stories, or something, I don't really know at this point. All I know is that I am sitting on the floor of my mom's sewing room hardlinked to her DSL typing this post. Yes, my mom lives in Oregon, so some decent deductive reasoning would lead to the fact that I am currently in Oregon.
I decided to drive to Oregon yesterday morning, or the morning before that, I honestly don't know what day it is. But let's back up a little...
Last friday I got a call from my mom regarding my father. My father has been having some serious back pain for the past few months, or longer, not sure, but it's been bad. He/we just assumed that he had a pinched nerve or something, but when the pain didn't go away he finally got an MRI done, that was last week sometime. The MRI came back with him having a cracked disc (L5 I believe). BAD! Bad enough, actually, that they scheduled emergency surgery for yesterday. I found this out friday. My mom is stressed out pretty badly, and it's wearing her down. There isn't much I can do from San Diego to help, so I felt pretty helpless. Then an opportunity came along, or rather I just decided to drive up, either yesterday or the day before, can't remember. Anyhow, it just made sense because I was being faced with some other personal issues regarding my car that have been giving me anxiety for the past 6 months so extreme that I have almost delved into panic attacks on numerous occasions. So anyhow, I decided to drive my car up here and leave it here. That is a totally different and very involved story which I have no desire to talk about, but that issue is off my chest and I feel good. Ok, back to my father.
So dad went into surgery yesterday morning at 6am, it was supposed to be a fairly routine 3 hour surgery, I called my mom around 2pm, and he still wasn't out of surgery. I decided not to push any questions on my mom as I could already tell she was pretty concerned. So the surgery is over I guess around 3pm, a little longer than three hours as predicted. And all my mom could really do was to tell me that it wasn't good, there were more problems than the doctors thought. No details at that time, but things weren't as bright and shiny as we thought.
A few minutes ago I got a little more information about my dad state of being...bad, as in not good at all. The doctor asking my mom to figure out the best way to get a hospital bed in our house was a big flashy light letting us know to expect nothing, and everything all at once. So I am here, awake for over 32 hours straight, nothing and everything on my mind, not tired, wanting to be tired, and hating that it's always the good people that seem to get crapped on the most. My mom does not deserve this, my dad definitely does not deserve this. It's not fair that I have to go back to SD in two days and leave my mom to deal with this, I should be here, but I can't. That sucks, not happy about that. It's not fair that my brother is stuck on a freaking boat in the Bering sea finding out about this on a telephone. Suck.
On the brighter side, I have my kitty, and I am surrounded by my trees. The 13 hour straight through 1000 mile journey is worth it, even if it's not good, it's necessary, for me, and my family.
Shit, now I think I'm going to cry, damnit.
Consider yourself hugged.
Thank you for coming home, I needed you to be here for me, and dad needs you to be here as well. thank you MaGoo...I love you son.
Huge hug going out to you. You're in my thoughts.
There is no more important place for you to be right now; for your dad, your mum; and you.
You all are my prayers.
So sorry your family has to go through this.
This post has 2 feedbacks awaiting moderation...